Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Socially Acceptable?

I conducted a non-scientific survey about children who leave the table with their families and roam around restaurants unattended. I found the following results: an overwhelming majority of diners at restaurants (in the Outback genre) claimed unattended children (ages 4-10) had a negative impact on their dinning experience. Nearly all the women in the study noted a concern for the well being of unattended children in restaurants.

Allowing children to leave the table appears to be a growing social trend so much so that many restaurants have posted signs prohibiting the behavior.

What factors contribute to parents and families to allow children to mill about restaurants unattended?

113 comments:

  1. Tyler Lawrence

    I have personally never seen this behavior happen, but only a few times. I think that it is very rare that you will see this happe,n, but when it does i think that it is very rude and that parents should keep an eye on their children because of all the crimes happening in ther world today and you never know what will happen to them.

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  2. Jennifer H online:

    I feel that the behavior of children should be the same as at home or they get confused on the right way to do dinner. I feel it teaches them manners at dinner. Places sometimes have a children's area for "restless children". I feel that more places should do that if there is always a long wait to eat.

    In response to Tyler; It is very difficult to have a child wait patiently for 2 hours while you wait to be seated, wait to place your order, wait for the food, and not many places are child friendly. Except for maybe chuck e cheese!! I have found a wonderful place to eat that allows children with a playground outside and inside is an adult oriented atmosphere and that is Joes crab shack. No comment on the food, but the children love the playground and it keeps them from running around in the restaurant.

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  3. Natavius F. Online:

    In terms of a buffet, I've seen this behavior quite a bit. I feel as though it's the parents responsibilty to keep an eye on their childen and accompany them when they go to serve themselves. There have been many instances where I've seen children (ages 4-10) coughing, sneezing, horseplaying around the food. It's ridiculous. I think if parents nipped it in the bud from the beginning then it wouldn't be an issue, but because they haven't, the issue remains.

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  4. In response to Tyler L.

    I agree, I think it's rude. And parents should be chastised not the children.

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  5. I believe it is dependent on the situation and the setting. If a child is sent to go play in the game room at Fuddruckers or Chuck E Cheese it is more acceptable to have children on their own. If your sitting down at Ruth's Chris than it is much less tolerated. If you have children and wish to eat in a restaurant and allow them to leave the table unattended, you may want to plan your outings accordingly.

    I agree with Jennifer H. It is near impossible to have a young child sit still and behave for hours at a time. The parents should either A. go with the child if he or she wishes to leave the table or B. bring items to entertain the child while at the table such as a toy

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  6. Michele G

    It is my opinion that children should not be allowed by the parents to roam freely in any type of restaurant setting, including abuffet style. It is our responsibility as parents to maintain the manners of our children. Not to mention , it is not exactly "safe" to allow kids to run amock any way. This type of activity annoys me about as much as the kid screaming in restaurant as the parents conduct business as if it was normal. Common courtesy shows character, parents!

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  7. Rachel C.

    Laziness and being completely overwhelmed are possible and logical reasons, in my understanding, and based on my own observations, as well as the observations and opinions of most of the servers I've worked with.
    Maybe also the possibility of the "parental-cuteness-blinding" thing where some parents do not see what the big deal is and that all they know is , "Aaaahhhhlll, aren't my kids cute! Look at them running and playing and having a good time."

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  8. Blake HUffman

    Parents should not let their children get up from the table if they are out to eat. I know children always have to be doing something but it is inconsiderate of parents to allow their kids to get up and roam around. It would be different if lil Johnny had to use the bathroom, but just to get up and play around, that’s ridiculous. Parents need to think of others like the servers cause they are constantly running around getting peoples food and drinks, it takes longer for them to get if kids are up and running around. I think they should not be able to get up unless the parent is with them. There for you as the parent know where your kid is and what he is doing because you are with him.

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  9. Kendaris H. Online

    I have not seen this behavior a lot in restaurants. I do agree that parents should watch their children and try to put them in a seated high chair to make them stay longer in place. It is disturbing to see how children running around a restaurant while people are trying to enjoy a good meal, but I also can see how it is difficult for parents to seat a 2 year old and make him stay put. This I believe can be changed by parents teaching their children at home good eating habits. What children do at home they are bound to in public.

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  10. Kendaris H. Online in response to Rachel C.

    I thought it was hilarious how you said "parental-cuteness blinding'. I think this is so true. So many parents are blinded when they have kids that they think the annoying things kids do is "cute". I am not a mother yet but when I do become one I will remember how I felt before and will think about other people and not just what I think is cute that my kid does.

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  11. Iesha B.-Online...I think that the factors that contribute to this type of behavior are all derived from the childrens behavior at home.Some parents allow their children to eat around the house in places such as the living room or their room, so the children think that roaming around unattended is acceptable. I also think that if the parents teach their children to have table manners then they wouldn't act this way in public."Practice begins at home."

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  12. I have never encountered this behavior, but it doesn't surprise me at all really. Parents don't really pay that much attention to their children in regards to what the do, how they speak, or how they interact with others. As long as the kids are safe and nothing gets broken, people don't seem to care. I really don't understand this mentality, but none the less it is a growing trend. It is truly disappointing. "Welcome to the new America - A self raised generation"

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  13. Elizabeth Weiss. It is really sad that in the world today, children are showing the same disrespect in public and at home at a growing rate. Not only is it extremely rude and annoying when you are trying to enjoy a meal and up runs a 3 year old (who of course seems to have a very severe flu or cold) and starts interrupting your time. If I were a parent, I would be embarrassed. Table manners are apparently not important anymore.
    This is exactly why people should have to take a common sense/IQ test BEFORE reproducing (you have to pass a test to drive a car...)

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  14. A. Kibathi

    I have seen this behavior before especially in a buffet setting. I personally believe that the parents of this kids are just been very ignorant of the situation. In most eating places they do have signs all over about kids running around, serving food etc. But this goes unnoticed. You can also tell the kind of manners this kids have even at home. e.g table manners. If they did, they would wait patiently at the table to be served by an adult.

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  15. Maybe its just me, but i think anytime I enter a restaurant with a buffet, i'm not expecting the most formal of settings. If I walk into a Ryans i'm gonna see some crazy stuff. Similar to eating at a Waffle House. If there isn't a child making a scene at a buffet, there will likely be an adult to take their place.

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  17. Shannon H:

    There are several factors leading to this behavior:
    1. Parents do not realize that their children roaming/running about the place is disturbing to other diners.
    2. The are unaware that they can train their children to stay at the table throughout the meal.
    3. They have low expectations for the behavior of their children.
    4. They are so self-absorbed in their own meal and conversation that they don't care what is going on with their children or other diners.

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  18. Tai Woods

    I agree with Jennifer that it is difficult for a young child to sit still while there is a long wait for dinner. However, I think that the problem is alot of parents are too concerned with not pissing their kids off or letting them express themselves. It's not just restaurants either. They let these kids roam around the grocery stores by themselves too. It's such a shame! If your kid is getting restless take them outside! Walk around the parking lot! Bring toys and books to entertain them. Be considerate to others and parent your freaking kids.

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  19. RGonzalez-If you can not control your child then maybe you should stay home instead of ruining someones dinner experience. If I want to see kids running around in a crazy manor I will be at chucky cheese with my son. People think that as long as they are in the building, there kids are in good hands. This is a prime example of how America is getting lazy!

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  20. Denice C.online.... I am sorry to say some parents do not disciple their children because society frowns on spanking and yelling, and they claim child abuse. In today's society, some parents do not enforce respect for other people because they were never taught this at home. Some parents are too consumed with their personal problems, and do not give their children enough attention.

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  21. Denice C. in response to Blake Huffman... I agree with this; however, I would like to share with everyone that let's their children run lose in a restaurant. My daughter was 4 months pregnant with her first child. She and I had went to eat at Shoney's. Both of us took the salad bar. Their was a child in front of us. The child had been playing at the salad bar. We thought we had took things the child had not touched. One week later my daughter woke up with the Chicken pox, they were not only on the outside of her but inside of her body as well. I went with her to the doctor, and I told her doctor she had the chicken pox when she was little. The doctor stated that she had a mild case when she was a little child. Now the chicken pox was full blown. To make a long story short, the doctor state the child was probally the carrier of this and as a result my grandson was born with two holes in his heart, he has no spleen, his stomach and liver are flipflopped. It was not a happy moment when my grandson was born and the father(my son-in-law) had to be on his way to and Atlanta Chilren's Hospital leaving his wife at the local hospital. Then three days later having to see my grandson go through open heart surgery due to my daughter having the chicken pox. This all could have been prevented if the children's mother had made the child stay setted. So please stop and think before you let your children wander.

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  22. Steven S Online:

    I personally have never seen this type of behavior at restaurants, but if the parent knows that the child wont behave dont take them with you. Get a babysitter, or some of the people at the restaurant might get angry. If some more discipline took, alot of hassle could be prevented for other people.

    In response to RGonzalez:
    I completely agree, leave you kids at home if you cant control. Dont think only about your self. Some people get disgusted when they see this type of behavior. Babysitter would be the way to go.

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  23. Donna H online:
    Stupidity? Do parents actually think that other patrons think these children are adorable with their sticking hands and runny noses? I feel that it's mostly a trend toward lax parenting.

    The only places that I can remember letting my children run wild where places that catered to children like Stevie B's, or places that had arcades. Ofcourse I always maintained a visual on my children and have also been known to sneak around until I saw them doing something they shouldn't and then correcting them.

    I am old school, and have a very low opinion of other peoples motives.

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  24. Donna H. in response to Steven S:

    Agreed! Get a babysitter if you control your riffraff. I recently saw an article about a person who spray painted Go Home on a dog that kept coming into his yard. Ofcourse the dog's owner called the cops on the guy. I wish I could stick a note on the child that said, "Keep me with you Mommy." and send them back to their own table..

    Ahhh parents....

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  25. Rebekah T.-Online. I believe that it has to do with the way parents control their children. Parents just dont care anymore. I know that back in the day my parents would take me to the bathroom and spank my behind, or do the pinch and twist thing on your arm and leave a mark.

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  26. J. Ponders Online:
    This is so upsetting to me, I have personally said something to parents before. I have to be having dinner and kids running around and screaming and going up to people they do not know ect. I just think that it is very rude of the parents to allow this type of behavior. When people go out to dinner they do so to be able to relax, and enjoy the company of who they are with. I just think that it ruins the atmosphere,not to mention all the dangers that come with unattended children.

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  27. James O. online:
    This is a subject where I don't really see room for debate. When did it become acceptable to even think about letting your children roam around unattended in a restaurant? Unless its a place intended for that, like Chuck E. Cheese, etc.
    Letting children roam around anywhere unattended these days is irresponsible parenting, letting them roam around unattended in a restaurant is irresponsible and rude to the other diners.

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  28. J. Ponders online in response to Donna H.
    I completely agree with you..no one wants a dirty little kid running around your table while you are trying to have dinner. Also, about the parents being lax..you think?? Hello, you are not at home. Control your kids!!! It really makes me so angry!

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  29. Mysti C. Online- I think that families and parents are getting frustrated when they take their kids out and they begin to get antsy. So they allow their kids to run around a restaurant. I feel that its a free way for the parents and families to have a babysitter, while they enjoy their meals. I do not think that is right to allow your kids to run around a restaurant, its dangerous and rude to other customers. A customer does not want to have to worry about a child knocking their food over, hurting themselves or someone. A restaurant is not a place to turn into a playground, just so the parents can get a break from their unruly kids. The parents and families need to be teaching their children how to properly behave while at a restaurant around other people.

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  30. KARLIE N. ONlINE-
    Let me start off by saying, I am a server at a restaurant and it makes me furious when parents let their children roam around. I don't even have children, and common sense says, respect others in public and have a little bit of self pride. How do you not get embarrassed that everyone is staring at your children grabbing things and playing tag in a busy restaraunt? Go to the McDonalds playplace if you want to let your children act crazy. I believe that parents would rather mingle with their friends joining them , than hold the responsibility of watching their children. Also, times are rough so not all couples can afford a babysitter, so instead they drag their kids out late at night or when they haven't had a nap just so they can eat out. Also, in society today a lot of people think that perfect cookie cutter family does not exist,so they're not concerned with other people's judgement on their parenting skills, because every family is "different".

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  31. Mysti C online In response to Tyler Lawrence- I agree, I have not seen this happen only once or twice. When I did see it those couple of times,I felt so cheated out of my dining experience, that I never went back to those places. I feel if the restaurant is not going to do anything then, this is not a place I want to eat at. I do not want to have to worry about someone's child while I'm trying to enjoy my meal. I think the parents should be their kids in check and restaurants on the safe side should put something up to let parents know that this is not that type of restaurant.

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  32. KARLIE ONLINE IN RESPONSE TO JENNIFER H.
    Kids cannot help if they are tired or haven't had the best of days, but a little part of that, not all of it, comes in to play about their children not getting their naps like they should or snacks to hold them off. Also, as a server when you sit down at a restaraunt look at the kids menu first and place the kids orders as soon as possible or ask the server to please make sure the children's meals are out first or ask for a pack of crackers to hold them off. I actually try to bring out the children's food first because it saves a lot of hassle on the family.

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  33. Steve F online:

    Letting children run around unattended is absurd! Parents seem to loose sight of the fact that their children are not the center of the universe for everyone. It is inconsiderate to say the least and rude. There seems to be an epidemic of people raising children without boundaries. Maybe it is the result of young people raising children that do not know how to establish good behavior. Letting a child run around unattended allows the child to develop unintended behaviors.

    There are pizza joints and fast food places where groups of parents can go with children and it is acceptable for them to play. These places are annoying to me and I don't go to them but these are the types of places that parents should frequent if they want their children to play at a resturant.

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  34. Steve F online;
    In response to Donna H:

    I am with you! This would be a one time experience for me because I wouldn't return to a resturant that permits children to run around...besides I heard that Chuckie Cheese is very a violent estabishment : )

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  35. Jonathan Ridings Online

    I personally have only seen this happen in a few rare instances. I think one of the reasons why it happens is that some parents just are a bit complacent with keeping their eyes on their kids. I know it's not easy to keep kids in the 4-10 age group in their seat the entire time they are at a dine in restaurant. Now me personally i do not think kids running around a restaurant bother my experience. However, i do think the parents need to be a little more attentive to what their kids are doing and try to make this a nonexistent issue.

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  36. Jonathan Ridings Online

    In response to Steve F.

    Steve i agree with your point about the amount of young people raising children. I think that definitely could be an explanation. Maybe if this study that this post is talking about had done detailed research on the age range of the parents as well this study would be very useful. I think the age of the parents plays a major role.

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  37. Charlotte_online
    I personally think that parents are to blame in the way kids should behave. It is our responsibility has parents to teach our children proper manners at home,so that they will behave even in public.

    Response to everyone_I think charity begins at home. We should teach are kids to patient and behave when they are on the eating table.

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  38. Esther B Online
    This is a very interested topic went it comes to parenting in this country.I was raced with the switches when it comes to discipline and reinforcement of good behavior. In public your parents will blink their eyes, and you will stop what you are doing right away . But in this country, if you spank your kids or speak on top of your voice in public they regard you as a bad parents. The kids in this country is raced by the law not their parents. So i do not want anyone to refer to a parents as irresponsible. The kids do not listen and end up calling 911 for parents.

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  39. Monica G. Online

    Children can excite you or bored in a restaurant. You can find it difficult to sit in one place for long lasting order,wait,eat and pay for food. Now parents should chose a restaurant based on an environment of children, and food for children, in a family atmosphere. Norms are learned at home if parents do not teach those norms and home and are consistent during dinner time at home, do not wait the children miraculously develop ways of behaivor at the table only because they are sitting in a restaurant.Practice good manners at home every meal,and children are ready to eat out. I know that because that is what I do at home with my two boys and always works.

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  40. Monica G. Online

    In response to Charlotte, I believe that parents must prepare them with good ways of behavior.All norms start at home. Now here is the situation, if a child behaves bad at the restaurnat everyone look at the parents like saying, go do something but if parents do something the customers feel offended at judged them as they were abusers. Parents never win.

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  41. Esther B Online
    I disagree with James O. refer to parents as irresponsible. There is no parents out there who do not want their kids to listen to them when they say stop it. The parents either look stupid or embarrass when their kids are roam around the restaurants and can not discipline them in public.

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  42. James O. in response to Esther B,
    Ultimately, the parents are responsible for the children, no one else is. I say this with all due respect, if the parents cannot control their children, they have no business trying to dine in a public setting. If people are going out and spending money to have a nice dining experience, they shouldn't have to put up with out of control, misbehaving children.

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  43. Jordan.L

    This behavior is unacceptable, parents should keeps tabs on their kids at all time no matter what. I dont know what the problem is, maybe they think that its good to let their kids have freedom or something but its rude. Its happened to me a few times and the kid staring at me makes me uncomfortable. I hate it, eventually they go away but come right back and the parents laugh at it. The parents should think about the child's safety cause a wondering child make it easy for someone to kidnap and i dont think anyone wants their kids to be stolen, hurt, or even killed. It makes no sense to me.

    Response to Charlotte
    i agree at should be taken care of at home, The parents need to teach their kids right from wrong and their kids messing with other people while they eat is wrong. Nip it in the bud at an early age

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  44. Allison M.

    In my opinion, parents are too distracted sometimes to pay attention the their kids. By not paying attention, the kids feel as though they need to do something to gain the attention. I think parents should pay attention and keep a close eye on their kids until they are old enough to be able to understand what the right way to act in public is.

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  45. It could have been better if parents could choose to keep the children home with a baby sitter or grand- parents instead. But these days we find some very irresponsible parents who not only do not want to cook healthy food in their own kitchens for the kids; they drag them in the restaurants left them unattended for the waitress to watch over the kids for then. This behavior is irresponsible and negligent; this behavior should not be tolerated; because it can also comprise the safety of the children. It is very possible that someone could easily walk out with that child without the parents seeing or the restaurant’s servers. I maybe a old fashion person, if it was up to me, I will prefer to stay home, cook healthy food for my family, seat together as whole, and enjoy our meals. In the house my kids will be in my sight, and I will be able to control theirs behaviors without any fear

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  46. It could have been better if parents could choose to keep the children home with a baby sitter or grand- parents instead. But these days we find some very irresponsible parents who not only do not want to cook healthy food in their own kitchens for the kids; they drag them in the restaurants left them unattended for the waitress to watch over the kids for then. This behavior is irresponsible and negligent; this behavior should not be tolerated; because it can also comprise the safety of the children. It is very possible that someone could easily walk out with that child without the parents seeing or the restaurant’s servers. I maybe a old fashion person, if it was up to me, I will prefer to stay home, cook healthy food for my family, seat together as whole, and enjoy our meals. In the house my kids will be in my sight, and I will be able to control theirs behaviors without any fear.
    Lula D

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  47. Courtney Pruitt: I see this very frequently happening in restrauants. I do find it very annoying and rude. The parents from what I have witnessed are always distracted with other thigs. My examples being: They were to distracted talking to the person across from them and not paying the child any mind. They could even have a large family come in and they just can't get them to sit still and just finally give in and let them roam. I have even seen the parents talking on the cell phone while the child is roaming around the place and they are to caught up in their conversation to pay the child any mind. I also believe that how we are a technology world today, we are so used to putting the children in a room and letting them watch tv, play video games, get on the computer, and such. So we can go about our own business and the child is no problem to us and you get used to not paying their behavior any mind and then they don't know better. Also I know few parents that were disiplined very hard as a child and when they had their kids they wanted to let them have more freewill. Leading to the child roaming around. This doesn't happen just in restraunts, but many other public places.

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  48. Thanks, Kendaris H.

    Rachel C.

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  49. C.Rogers:
    I think most parents allow their children to roam around restaurants because the child throws a tantrum and they do not want to deal with it. It's annoying because the parents of the child should take the responsibilty and teach the child better. They should teach the child how to act in public places. I think the parents of the child should disipline the child and make them sit down. It just makes other people annoyed and then they arent able to enjoy themselves.

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  50. sbaty
    I personally hate when people let their kids do that. I think that its a growing trend of letting kids express themselves. Allow them to be a free spirit or the lack of caring on the parents part and the failing values of americas family life and parenting.

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  51. Marcus Key

    I have seen this a few times, and think it is very rude of the children and the parents.. it shows the parents give no disiapline. most likly at home the parents dont enforce any rules or ever taught manners or respect. they need to sit, hush and eat there food.

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  52. I have witnessed this, and am very surprised at the lack of discipline or parenting that usually takes place. I think that one of the contributing factors to this is people having children at younger ages, essentially having the parents being kids themselves not fully reaching adulthood or maturity. In these cases the parents have not yet learned how to fulfill these roles properly, or have the parental assertiveness. This is not to say that all adults are responsible or act accordingly

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  53. Shane B. -Online

    I've seen this happen quite a lot at restaurant buffets. In fact, it seems much more common than at restaurants which customers remain seated. Obviously when there are children freely roaming around a public place the roots of this behaviour comes from their parents. Personally, when I was a young child strict mannerisms were impressed into my life, and I believe that parents who don't try as hard--or tend to play best friend get this kind of behaviour out of their children.

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  54. In response to Allison M:

    Yes, I agree. Parents have become lax due to being too distracted, and not noticing the behavior of their children, generally brushing it off halfheartedly while getting back to whatever it was that they were distracted by in the first place. Family meals whether a restaurant or in home, are supposed to be about spending time with the family and enjoying each others company.

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  55. Shane B. -Online

    In response to Jennifer H.,

    I think an area for children is a great idea to keep children occupied, but at the same time I also feel it's unnecessary. Parents tend to bend to the will of children much more now than in any other time. Simply because diners would rather not hear a child screaming because their parent(s) won't let them run around. So in many cases parents will just give into the tantrum or the idea of a tantrum; thus, letting a child freely roam a restaurant. I think if anything parents need to be the ones responsible for correcting this kind of behaviour before it gets worse.

    In response to C. Rogers,

    I personally agree with you on this, parents hate the idea of being embarrassed by a screaming child, so they simply ignore what's best to avoid embarrassment. It truly is up to parents to make their children mind. If a child wants to leave the table then the parent(s) need to show a firm hand and deny it. By constantly giving into a child's demands or tantrums, negative behaviour will only get worse making proper development harder.

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  56. Because I was raised in a household that would not tolerate such an act, I do not allow this behavior from kids either. Growing up, if my family was in a restaurant and an unattended child came by our table, my father would stop the child, ask, "Where are your parents?" and he would go have a talk with that child's parents. If more people would stand up and complain to these parents, they would probably try to change it. I will at times do this, but not as often as I'd like to, because it embarrases my husband. I believe that the reason parents allow their kids to this is because it is easier than disciplining the. They are trying to avoid a scene in the restaurant with them telling their child, "No" and the child pitching a fit.

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  57. In response to C. Rogers - I totatally agree. You hit it right in the target. These parents who allow this happen will wish they'd done it differently when these kids are 13-18 and don't listen to a word they say because they've always let them do what they've wanted to do.
    & To Denise C. - I am so sorry that your daughter and grandchild had to endure such hardship because of irresponsible parents.

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  58. Marie c...


    personaly i never had that experience and speaking as a parent my daughter knew better because i raised her properly and she knew if she misbehaved that she would be in big trouble however back to subject those children who wonder off their parents are the ones to blame after their kids and need to be supervised actualy the parents need to be placed in a time out for being bad parents and not properly disciplinning their children

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  59. James O.online in response to Southern Chickie,
    I must say I agree with everything you say. I think leaving a post-it note on unattended children is a fabulous idea!!! That's great!!

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  60. Brittany T. online
    The parents have less patients than they let on if they will allow their child to roam around a restaruant. I feel it is rude to have your child nose level to my table. I have on occassion let my child or another child play in a boxed area at the table. If we plan on being there longer than expected due to talking than i would remove a few chairs and create a barrier with two adults on each end to keep the kids enclosed in an area. We also request seating away from the center of the restaruant because we have kids.

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  61. Brittany T online

    Response to Courtney- I don't know too many parents who have had a very strict upbringing and would allow this kind of behavior. I know some who don't make their bed, or don't spank their children, but to run around a restaruant or have a blatant disregard for others the parents were probably strict in other areas, or in excess. I only say this because we are creatures of habit, so if as a child I am raised to sit down in public and all my life I employ this practice when I have my own children shouldn't it bother me or hit a nerve that they lack disipline???

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  62. These days kids are becoming less and less respectful, as parents are becoming less strict. Parents don't want to be seen as "the strict parent" so they let their kids do as they please. Kids are growing up not knowing what it means to be considerate of other people so they run around not caring if it is bothering others or not.

    Tyler: I don't think it's "rude", it's not wise. Not being able to protect your kids is a bad decision, not a rude one.

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  63. Loan. N. Online.
    I think kids are kids. We can not want them to do what adult can do, because they are kids. Let's them being a kid. But, in the restaurant, parents definitelly need to watch them. I know it is very hard to make them understand that they have to sit at same place for a long time.
    Parents should bring the, something to keep them at their table. They also need to train them at home that how should they act in public.
    Parent need to respect people in the restaurant.Also, they need to know that te kid running and they do watch them, they will not know what will happen. parents need to able to protect their childrent is the main thing.

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  64. Julie S. online
    There is a wonderful restaurant we go to that has an area set up with blocks and coloring books to keep kids entertained while parents wait on their food. I think more restaurants should try to accomodate for families with children. On the other hand, it is the parents responsibility to keep their child seated in public restaurants. It is so rude to have someone's child roaming around your table, when you are tryin to enjoy a meal. When my children were small and had a hard time sitting still, I always brought coloring books or travel size games to occupy their time.

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  65. Julie S. Online in response to Sarah Roberts
    I agree with you completely. It seems like a lot of parents want to be friends with their kids instead of being paretnts. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being your kids friend but, be their parent first. Children need guidelines to follow or else they will not grow up to be the best they can be.

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  66. Deidre C. Online: I would be one of the concerned adults in the restaurant regarding the childs safety. I do find that I am very observant of those around me when I am shopping, at a restaurant, park, etc. I have three kids all under the age of 12 years old. My youngest is 17 months old. We try to choose our meal times when eating out that are not overly busy and there are less people in the restaurant. My husband can’t handle unruly kids at the dinner table. So, if my precious 17 month old begins to get unruly, my husband takes the child out of the restaurant. I am then left at the table with the other two waiting on the check to eventually be delivered.
    We all have different traits we want instill in our kids and just as we are all different colors, different eyes, shapes, sizes the same goes for parenting styles. For example, I have three siblings all have kids of their own. We all parent differently.
    The factors that contribute to parents and families to allow children to mill about restaurants unattended basically comes down to parenting style and what the parent/family wants to instill in their kids. Some families may be of the sentiment that my kids are fine here at this restaurant it’s safe and family oriented so why not let little Johnny and Sally mill about while we wait for our food, etc. Or, some families may be wanting to give their kids some independence and give them an opportunity to use their life skills learned thus far to handle a situation.

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  67. Deidre C. Online in Response to Blake Huffman:
    I believe it is up to the parent to choose what they will or won’t do in their family. I don’t need the restaurant management to dictate what I should do as a parent. I have a brain and I was brought up to be respectful to others and behave in public and use my P’s and Q’s. I agree that the parent should be with the child in the restaurant. For example, when I was about 8 years old our whole family was in Cherokee, N.C. at a restaurant. My brother who was about 5 at the time asked to go to the restroom and my parent’s allowed him to go by himself. (I don’t allow my kids to go by themselves to the restroom when at a restaurant or anywhere out in the world.) We then paid for our food and then my parent’s realized that my brother had not returned yet. They were frantically looking for him. My Dad even walked/ran through the kitchen area yelling for him. We finally walked out to the car and there he was! He couldn’t find our table and then decided that he would meet us at the car since he knew where the car was parked.
    As a parent I choose to teach my kids to stay at the table until we are all ready to leave. There is no need to be up and about to “look around”. There are too many opportunities for someone to take advantage of a child being alone even if they are in a public area.

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  68. Keica Online:
    I feel that when you have small children and you want to go out to eat, then you should go to a place that's children friendly. A place that the kids may be able to move around freely and talk freely with out interfer4ing with the outing of others. And when a child reaches a certain age the parents should start training the children on proper etiquet of different eatery, because they will not always be kids. When a child is trained at home properly they will know how to act when out in public.

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  69. Keica online: Response to Allison M.

    Yes I agree that when parents go out to eat they tend to get so caught up in their adult conversations, that they forget to show the kids any attention. So the kids take that time to entertain themselves.

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  70. FKouassi
    I think some of the facts that contribute to parents to allow children to mill about restaurants unattened is tiredness. Some of the parent are stay home moms, and they have been with this children in the house around the clock, so anytime they go to the restaurants and the children are run around, they don't have the energy to control them. Not that they don't care but they are tired.
    Also some of the children are stubborn, anytime you take them outside from the house, they don't want to follow simple instructions, they are difficult to control and because of that parents will be frustrated.They don't know what to do with them.Some parents work a lot so by the time they got to the restaurant with their children they are exhausted, and the children are out of controlled.
    I don't know how some parents are able to hindle this,because I can't.I remember the time my son was around that age he was doing the same so we have to stop going to the restaurant.Because is not good for parents to aollw children to do that.

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  71. Christian B.-Online

    I have seen this happen many times in restaurants. All I can say is that when children are bored they find a way to entertain themselves. Because naturally kids have a lot of energy, and if they are just sitting still they start to get antsy and just find something that will entertain them. I fell the parents are to blame if this ever occurs. It's not hard to get a child to sit still. You just have to get them something that will keep their attention long enough to get your food, and when they are done eating they get sleepy. I believe that this is an easy solution to this problem.

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  72. Christian B.-Online In Response To Wendi E.

    I totally know how it feels to grow up with good stern parents, and I think that that is what it will take to get children to act right these days. People are just letting their kids do whatever they want and don't expect or care what their child does. After the child makes a scene or mess they just give them empty-threats that they think will forever change how their child behaves. I think that parents today are just to soft. They are definitely the ones that need a good talking to.

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  73. Rebecca D.I think some parents let their children do what ever they want in public because they do not want to punish the child in front of others. They think they will be seen as a bad parent if they discipline their children. But when others see your child running around a restraunt unattended that makes you look like a lazy parent.

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  74. joy online
    ''Charity begins at home'' This a popular saying.If you teach your children or kids good manners trust me, they will exhibit good manners whenever or wherever they are.Some children merely have to look at the face of their parents to know when to behave.It is very rude and ill-mannered to see kids runing all over the restaurant.

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  75. Response to Rebecca
    joy online ,Rebecca, i disagree with you with the notion that discipling your child could be seen as bad parenting.Whoever thinks that you are a bad parent while disciplinig your kid should go get his/her head examined.Bad parenting is not lazyness,but lack of dicipline on the side of the parents.

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  76. joy online-- response to Christian B
    I totally agree with you Christian,some parents are just too soft,thereby makes the kids a sorry sight at the public.

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  77. Julie A. Online
    I think children roam around restaurants unattended because today parents tend to show a lack of interest in their children and several parents do not care about their children as they used to. I think that the parents need to take responsibility for the children and not let them roam around a restaurant unattended.
    Julie A In response to Michele G
    I completely agree with you on the comment about kids screaming in the restaurant. And yes common courtesy does show character.

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  78. Margaret. N.
    kids roaming around unattended in restaurants is an unacceptable behavior.parents are responsible for showing and teaching the kids what is right.which includes table manners.

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  79. I think it is very rude for parents to let there kids roam around resturaunts when there out eating, i think that if you wouldnt let them do it at home then you shouldnt let them do it when your out, definitely.Kids are very hard to keep there attention but if you cant control them then you shouldnt take them out.

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  80. Amanda H Online:
    It can definitely be annoying, and a hazard for children, parents and strangers to have children roaming around unattended to in a public area. There's a good possibility that these habits are linked to the behavior we teach children at home. A lot of families don't sit down and eat together anymore, therefore kids believe it's alright to roam around freely since they don't know table etiquette in their own homes. I do think that perhaps some parents could allow this as a form of independance for a child- since it could be safer in a situation where families come to have meals, and it's largely a public place. This however can put a child at risk of being abducted as well, if they are not watched, and it can bother the families there.

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  81. Amanda H to Joy:
    I agree with this statement. My family made us sit down to eat meals together all the time, and typically we couldn't be excused from the table until the meals were finished. It allows people to teach their children proper table manners and learn the values of their families, especially how imprtant it is to stay close and behave with your family in a situation where you're eating somewhere else.

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  82. Brandon cass online-
    I agree with this post, if you do happen to go to a nice restaraunt to eat you would expect a nice dinner without someones kid running around but theese days this is a verry rare occurence. I work in the restaraunt business and i see this almost every day i work. I think that there could be some relation to this and not eating dinner at the family table at home.

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  83. Kevin G_Online
    Response to Rachel C. I agree with you 100%..many parents have this idea that just because it's their child we all will think their kid is cute when really he or she is just a pain in my dining experience. I'm a jogger and it reminds me of when I'm at the park taking a relaxing run and a dog owner lets their dog run without a chain. The owner is completely convinced their dog won't bite, but how does anyone really know that?

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  84. Kevin G_Online
    I feel that parents need to keep a rein on their kids in restaurants. It's rude. I think the reason is today many parents are simply aloof and think about other things; courtesy not being one of them. I think another reason is that families don't sit together at home during dinner so maybe their is this conditional behavior that causes children to not stay at the table in a restaurant either.

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  85. Kayla Blan online:

    I have never seen this behavior! I think its rediculous for parents to let there their children run around unattended expecially in a nice resturant. It so rude because there are other diners in the restuarant wanting to enjoy a meal. Also it is very dangerous for the children. You never know what could happen to them, as anything could happen in a split second.

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  86. Christopher K.-Online
    I do believe that children should be free and be playful. Yet I also believe that there is a time and place to be playing around and most of the time, it is the parents at fault. I am pretty sure if the child is running around playing with other children at the restaraunt, then the child's parents are more than likely being loud at the table as well. I also have recognized that when its just two parents and a child then those are the ones who seem to have more manners. As the party grows, then the manners decrease.

    In response to Rachel C.
    You hit the nail when you said that Parents are blinded from this. I believe that these are the parents that don't teach their children that there is a time and place to be playing.

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  87. Cynthia T. Online

    I have seen this on a few occasions while I was out having dinner somewhere, but I see it daily at my workplace. I believe it is a feeling of intitlement for some parents, they expect everyone around them to keep a eye on their children because they do it day in and day out. I find this "practice" ridiculous clearly if you are adult to create the child you are adult enough to take care of the child until it reaches adulthood and not just some of the time all the time.

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  88. Cynthia T. Online
    In response to Kevin G. you hit the nail on the head the behavior is extremely rude and parents do need to keep better eyes on their children. There are so many mentally unstable individuals that prey on children there is no way I would let my kids out of my site. I also agree with your statement that they probably do not have dinner as a family at home. Everything begins at home, so if your kids run around like yard apes at home and eat off the floor you can't expect them to do any different out in public.

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  89. Melina Garcia ONLINE-
    I believe the factors that contribute to this kind of behavior begin at home. As someone who has a lot of experience with children, my opinion is that children need routine and consistency. The children behave this way because this is how they behave at home and get away with it. It is my firm belief that you should teach children to practice their manners ALL the time, including when they are at home. This is because most children are not aware of the social cues as adults may be. I am not trying to say children are bad or rude, I am simply stating that teaching children how to be respectful members of society must be practiced every minute of every place.

    In response to Rebecca D.-
    I completely agree that a lot of parents are embarassed to punish their children in public. They believe that if they make it seem like it's not a big deal then others will go along with it. I on the other hand agree with you that it comes across as lazy parenting. Going out is something that everyone should enjoy, not just you and if children can't behave then they should not be allowed to participate.

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  90. Personally I've seen this happen before, and I used to be the kid roaming around. I feel that this topic is based off of what type of parent we are dealing with. Obviously parents that allow there kids to roam around restaurants are a bit more relaxed and have a bit of trust in their child. Unfortunately there are many dangers associated with this action that parents should take into consideration. However I don't think this is a very common thing. These days with all of the crazy things going on I feel most parents with kids that size are pretty hands on.


    In response to Cynthia T.

    I agree young children should be attended to around the clock. In restaurants as well as anywhere out in the public. Children shouldn't be neglected in anyway.

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  91. Donna M - Online

    This is what I call the new style of parenting - where the parents are so relaxed that they forget that kids need boundaries. If a restaurant has to put up a sign to let you know that you can't have your child roaming around in a restaurant then something is wrong.

    And the worst thing about this is that it isn't only happening in restaurants. You see it in many of the public places - malls, retail establishments, and post offices.

    Kids need guidance and set boundaries. This is only teaching them that they can do what they want and not have respect for structure.

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  92. Donna M In response to Melina

    I couldn't agree with you more. It does start at home. At home is where you learn the majority of the things that you pick up. So if your parents allow the kids to leave the dinner table before finishing their meal and run around the house. They will only think that they have the same freedom when they are out.

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  93. Moiya H. Online
    I think that the factors that contribute to letting children wonder around resturants are age, responsibility,and being naive. With parents getting younger and younger it caomes with the attitude," I did it as a child so he/she will be fine." or "It's just over there I don't feel like getting up." I'ts an attutide of me and my child can do what we want and nobody better say anything. The reponsibilty of watching your children has fallen short to coinsiding with the age factor. Letting you children do whatever they want cause if he/she does something wrong "somebody" will stop or get them. And just being plan naive is a big factor to. Just because you live in a small town, eating at a family resturant, or can see the area where the child may be wondering doesn't mean anything. It goes with the law what can happen will happen. Kids get hurt or destroy property and peolpe snatch and mess with children EVERYWHERE!!!

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  94. Moiya H. online
    In response to Melina G
    You are exactly right. It starts at home and with manners and respect. If a child wonders around at home, in and out the house, bothering things with out any consequences, they will do it in public!!!

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  95. Mark McD online:

    I think in todays society people have taken the old saying it takes a village to raise a child to seriously.People are to willing to shrug off their own responsibilities on others.Many people drop their children off at daycare where someone else takes care of the child and then brings them home and turns on a tv or video game system and lets this entertain their time so i guess they just think why should it change at dinner.They just turn them over to another stranger.

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  96. Mark McD online:
    In response to Cynthia T. i agree people today do have to much of a since of entitlement.This practice is ridiculous!People need to accept their responsibilities especially when it comes to their children.

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  97. Rochelle G Online

    I have not noticed children running around that often in restaurants. I have never taken into consideration that this happens so much. For my own children (8 and 12), if I am not with them I send them to do things in pairs. They are ususlly never alone to wander aimlessly wherever they are. It is too dangerous.

    Parents need to be held accountable for the whereabouts of their children.

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  98. Rochelle G Online in response to Mark McD online.
    I agree that this generation of parenting has left the responsibility to others. We depend on babysitters, daycares and school to raise our children from nurturing to chastising them. Maybe some of the cause is CHILDREN RAISING CHILDREN.

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  99. I know children, especially smaller children, get restless and want to wander around the restaurant after they have eaten. And some parents don't know how to handle this behavior, I have a suggestion that I know will solve this problem.
    It can be handled with two simple words...duct tape.

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  100. Allowing children to roam around while people are dining is most likely due to the parents lack of dominance and their inability to be strict with their children. Parent's children notice this behavior and tend to walk all over their them. I've never noticed this happen but if it becomes a usual behavior restaraunts will most likely experience a decline in income.

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  101. In my opinion people who let their kid roam the restaurant are lazy parents or have severe diciplinary issues. I have 3 daughters and dinner has its rules that apply at home or while we are out.

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  102. Vrixton P. Online:
    I think it's because parents are afraid of disciplining their children. You can't very well put them in time out, and if you shout and scream at them, everyone looks at you like you're a verbally abusive and unfit parent. Heaven forbid you take them to the bathroom and spank them, because then you're a reprehensible monster who shouldn't be caring for any child for any length of time, much less caring for one 24/7.

    Not only that, but parents these days don't really want to be parents, they want to be friends with their children. As my parents say "If your child likes you all the time, you must be doing it wrong."

    @Luis and Anonymous:
    Precisely. There are simply too many parents who don't want to do their jobs. I know some personally, and they make me wonder "if you don't want to do this, why on earth did you even procreate? What's the point?"

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  103. Nyrva B. online :I really havent noticed parents allowing thier children to roam in restaurants but I have seen this sort of iresposibility accure in the grocery store on more than one occasion. I personally don't have any children but I think common sence would tell me that it is extremely unsafe to allow any child under the age of 12 to roam public areas alone. Especially in our currents time when it seems like children are being abused, assaulted, and abducted on a regular basis.

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  104. Nyrva B. online in response to Melina G:I gree, the proper training starts at home. The same children that we find roaming restaurants and other public areas unattended, more than likely have little or no structure at home.

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  105. Stephanie M. Online:
    Factors that might contribute to parents and families to allow children to mill about restaurants unattended are laziness, inattentiveness, and selfishness. They're lazy in the fact that they do not get up and discipline their children. They are inattentive in the fact that they do not pay attention to what their children's behavior. Finally, they are selfish because they do not care about other patrons that are trying to have a peaceful dinner.

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  106. Stephanie M. Online in response to Racheal C.:
    I agree with you completely. I am a parent of three and sometimes I also get lazy and overwhelmed, but it is still not an excuse. I don not allow my kids to mill around a restaurant, but I do allow them to go to the restroom together without me. I've always wondered if it was inappropriate.

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  107. Eric Dempsey

    I've seen this behavior a few times. I use to work in the food industry and I know personally that for the staff it is very aggravating. Kids usually come up to staff and act in a rude manor. You don't want to also be rude by saying you should go back to your parents because the parents might find it an expectable behavior.

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  108. The behavior of the child roaming around in a resturant I believe starts at home. If the parent is not taking the time to raise the child in the correct why then of course it show in when they are out and about. It is very rude to have a little one walking and causing confusion while you are out to dinner. It really affects more than the parents, it leaves a bad "taste" in your for the establishment. It also makes the employees a upset because they can not fully complete thier work without having to find out who's child is running around.

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  109. In response to Tyler Lawrence
    You are so correct! This day and age there is so much crime going on, why would you want your child to wonder around and not know where they are? People put their own children at risk without even thinking about it.

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  110. Marie S

    If only parents would teach their children how to behave in restaurants or anywhere else. Bring them some small toys , crayons, whatever to keep them occupied. Make them know it's the rule that you have to stay in your chair. And , if they start running around , you(the parent)have to get up from your drink and conversation and take care of them. The worst is when a couple families get together and the adults sit at one table and the children at another - Shouldn't be allowed because the kids are usually out of control.

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  111. I agree with Marie S
    If you have to put your children in another table why bring them at all? Meal time if for family to be together. I dont agree wit hthe toys and games at the table comment though. Some kids are a little "ADD" but its the parents job to keep up with their behavior and edicate.

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  112. Amorim R., Sonia
    Inconsideration of other people dinning experience; to use common sense, first there is a need for sense. Education and good manners and discipline for any person from any society begin at home.

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  113. SP-I think it is very neglectful for a parent to let their child walk around unattended in restaurants. It can be dangerous for the child to easily cause or be in an accident or kidnapped. It is a very risky for any restaurant to allow children under thirteen to walk unattended in an eatery.

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